Now when I look back..

Now when I look back

there are only calls unanswered,

texts not replied back to

and every attempt made

to hold on to you tighter

was heartlessly crushed.



I was a fool

I spun my dreams around you.

I was ignorant

of the obvious.

I was in love

and believed

things could be right.


Now when I look back

I laugh at my own thoughts.

Now when I look back

I judge my actions

and question my wisdom.

Now when I look back

I think how you never

looked back at me.


And it was a while after which

I finally put the pen down.

the pen that I believed

would write our story.

The ink had run dry

and my fingers were too tired.


Now when i look at you

I see you as lonely as ever,

your glistening with pain,

as sad as ever,

you’re like a small kid

trying hard to fit into the game.


Now I can no longer hold your hand

and hug you tight,

come close and whisper

everything is going to be alright.

But every now and then

I look at you from a distance

and whisper a prayer for you

and allow a sigh to fade away

into the silence.





And one day I’ll be gone
just like that..
and you would no longer find me
where you last saw me standing..

I’ll be gone to a new place.
new relations, new faces..
and I would no longer hear you,
even if you call me.

The sun will rise for you everyday,
the birds would still be singing,
Only I won’t be there,
to answer your longing.

I know you’ll look for me everywhere,
I know you’ll set your eyes at the door,
but baby I’ll be gone far away,
even my remains wont be washed up at the shore.

I was standing here all this while,
waiting for you to come and find me.
I had faith in the love,which
 I thought will bind you to me.

The heart just grows fonder,
and theres no stopping it.
And I cannot throw it away
as long as it is within me.

I can see you smiling from here,
ignorant of my pain.
I’ll be gone far away
when you finally look for me.

The night,You and me.

I know you’re sound asleep

I know you’re lost in dreams,

But how I wish to wake you up

and kiss you on your lips.


The night keeps me awake

and I fight my loneliness,

How I wish you were here

in my moments of distress.


Little insecurities

burst out like bubbles,

My love for you

is the cause of all trouble.


You’ve caged me forever,

my heart is slave to your charms.

I just want to wake up

and find me in your arms.

Of dreams and desires.

Every breath is hot,

the eyes burn,

the hands tremble,

the body revolts,

I’m taken to a state

where illusions become reality.



And I realize that you exist

every where,

in my dreams,

in my desires,

in my illusions

and also in my reality.



I want to turn and

find you right next to me.

Waiting for me to wake up,

To take me in your arms.

And whisper,

‘Everything is going to be fine.’


Its the same bed,

the same walls,

the same window sill.

the same sky outside.

Only you aren’t there.


I look out of the window,

stars beaming at me,

I smile at them and they tell me,

even dreams become reality.


Mama,I wanna come home.

Mama,I’m in love,

I feel alive again.

I smile for no reason

and sense a change

in my life’s season.



Mama, he is nice

I will tell you about him next time I’m home.



Mama,I’ll be with him soon,

This chance seems

so much like a boon.

I have made the perfect plan,

I want to be my best,

to God’s will I leave the rest.


Mama, I’m all excited,

I can’t wait to tell you all when I’m home.


Mama, we met

We embraced and made love

without a word being spoken.

My heart missed a beat,

when I looked up at him,

As I held him close and tight,

I wanted to stop time with

all my might.



Mama I’ve confused emotions now

I don’t know what to tell you when I’m home.



Mama, the walls are crouching on me,

the white crumpled sheets,

remind me of the day before.

I have nothing to do but to wait,

the curtains are huge but

they do not hide my shame.



Mama, I’m all bruised

And I just wanna come home.

Mama,Will you still let me in?

I am.

I am sad
although I’ve no reason to be.

I am lost
although the path is in front of me.

I am blind
although my eyes are wide open.

I am hopeful
although I’ve been beaten.

I am waiting
although time has run out.

I am all ears
although there is no sound.

I am in pain
although there is no wound.

I am torn
although you wont see the shreds.

I am alone
although there is crowd around.

I am mute
although there’s a lot I wanna say.

I am empty
although i have you in my heart.

I am me,although I am still finding myself.


I have befriended you
I have shared a lot..
I have been happy lately
And laughed at what not!

But ,

each time I take a step forward ,
I take two backward.

We have met  ,
We have smiled ,
We say “hello!”
And whisper in voices mellow!!

But still,

when I take a step forward ,
I take two backward.


You have taken care,
You have done my share.
You have complimented
And about a future together hinted !!


Yet ,

when I take a step forward,
I prefer to take two backward .


Some things are better left unsaid,
Some things are better incomplete.
Some questions have no answers
And some answers can never be made!!

And this is why ,
Everytime I take a step forward,
I always take two backward.
(Also posted here : )